The Wives of HVAC Share All!

The Wives of HVAC Podcast Hosts Record Live at The AHRexpo 2022

Tersh Blissett: Hello, everyone out there in Podcast World. Oh, we’re having a great day. This is Tersh with the Service Business Mastery Podcast and today’s episode is a little special one. We actually have the spouses of three podcast hosts and they all met up together at the Air Expo. I’d love to hear your feedback on this episode. If you’d like to hear more content like this, then we can get these ladies back together and have them produce more episodes in their own podcast, possibly. But with that being said, I’d love to kick it over to the wives of HVAC.

Kathleen Ridley: All right. Good morning, H. Ah, welcome to the Tool Life Podcast. I’m your host, Kathleen Ridley, and I have some very special guest hosts with me today. So if you could give kind of an intro of who you are or your backstory, and of course, I guess we got a shout [00:01:00] out to our husbands because this is a wives talk. Let us know who you are.

Leilani Orr: My name is Leilani Orr I’m from Central Florida, married to Brian or from HVAC school. Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of my life raising kids, actually, ten of them. So that’s a big portion of my story. But being a part of the trades world and being married to a tradesman is an adventure. So I’m really happy to be here.

Julie Blissett: Yeah. And I am Julie Blissett like Kathleen said, and I am married to my wonderful husband, Tersh Blissett of the Service Business Mastery Podcast. We are located in Savannah, Georgia. And again, just like Leilani said, being married to a tradesman, a business owner, a podcast host, all those things are quite the adventure. We also are veterans in the military, and I’m still in serving as well as being a nurse. And we have four kids, so it’s definitely a [00:02:00] balancing act, to say the least. Excited to share that experience here with everybody.

Kathleen Ridley: Yeah, and just a little backstory on who I am. My name is Kathleen Ridley, also known as Tool Wife. I am married to Brant Ridley of the Tool Pro’s podcast and Tool Pro Brand. We also have an HVAC and plumbing company in the Atlanta, Georgia area. We have two children, lots of animals. And like you said, ladies, it is a juggling act 24 seven. Now, I wanted to talk a little bit today about that balancing act of being a trade spouse and what it means to juggle your personal life, kid’s family, but also being a business owner and having these podcast brands. So give the audience a little advice and what works for you and your husband?

Julie Blissett: Julie Yeah, so I really think one of the most important things is for me personally is identifying what is so important to Tersh [00:03:00] and then making that really important to me. Whenever we do that, I feel like we vibe really well with the day to day and I just he feels that support and I think that that’s really important. Having the grace for those time schedules that can be all hours of the day and night and weekend and just I guess being okay with the uncertainty of what the schedule may be and figuring out how to, I guess, be patient when it may not be exactly what I want, but making it real important to him, I feel like in turn I totally get the give back on that. So I guess feeding his ego lets him take a little better care of me.

Kathleen Ridley: No, I totally agree. Teamwork is so incredibly important because especially, you know, you are your partners, your partners in your marriage, but also in business. And that sometimes means taking over. You have [00:04:00] to take up the slack because they are busy. They are busy guys running business, doing podcasts, maintaining their brands. And so as wives, you know, we have kids, we have all the house duties and bills and all the things that life throws at you on a daily basis. And so you have to be able to kind of roll with the punches. And when you do that and you find that groove where you can just mesh with each other and you know each other’s rhythm, it makes an incredible difference in your marriage because, you know, I’ve got your back. You go, do you go? Take care of business. I’ve got it at home. And then when you get back, you know, you can take care of me. You owe me one so you can reciprocate it both with each other.

Julie Blissett: Yeah. No consequences when they get home, you know? No. Definitely just loving on them and letting them know that you support it.

Kathleen Ridley: Really? If Brant needs to go pass out in the recliner, that’s okay, babe. Not. I’m not going to yell at you. I may, you know, go live on Instagram and show everybody how loud you snore, but nothing personal. [00:05:00] What about you?

Leilani Orr: I would say early on when we as young married couple and like literally some of the weeks for Brian working in the trades was like 60 to 70 hours a week. It’s like, what is that? That is not like that’s not a balancing act. Mom and wife to not compare to other schedules, other people’s schedules and how you know this this couple does 5050 here in or 7030. It was like comparing was sort of my enemy. So I realized, no, we have our own story, our own schedule. And a balancing act is not always a perfect balance, balance. And so learning to look at it more of a this is an opportunity to spend a lot of time for Brian to build his business and that there’s a skill he’s going to be [00:06:00] able to share with our children in the future and not always in the present. So not focusing so much on are you going to be home in time to take care of the kids as soon as you get home? But more like having clear conversations about what his tasks are, what mine are, and valuing what the other person did. And I feel like when we appreciate each other, we want to also give a little extra when we can. And so that’s I mean, it has not been perfect in any way, but it does help to have the conversation of what are your expectations for us this weekend, before the weekend gets there and and for both of us to be able to speak to what the struggle is and when. And that’s helped a lot for the most part.

Kathleen Ridley: No, I completely agree. And this is something that we talk about on my podcast often, especially the best [00:07:00] advice I can give to trade spouses, especially in the beginning, because for us personally, Brant worked insane over time. I mean, all the just constantly, constantly, constantly on the clock. Sometimes we wouldn’t see each other all day. And he comes home, he’s tired, you know, he has nothing left to give. And those were some hard years. And there’s a potential there to become really resentful if you don’t keep reminding yourself what goals you’re working towards because you’re building that future. And you know, you finally get to a point we’ve recently gotten there where you look around and you go, Wow, all those years of that hard work where you’re at home and you’re you’re lonely or you’re you’re frustrated because you’re having to feel like you have it all on your shoulders.

Leilani Orr: So were you a little bit of a desperate housewife?

Kathleen Ridley: Just, just slightly, you know, not not a need, you know. Well, we’ll just we’ll keep that for another episode. But, you know, it’s it’s difficult and it’s really easy to slip into that mind frame unless [00:08:00] you really keep it in perspective that, like you said, you are building for the future and you’re building these these things for your children to pass on so that when they’re adults, they have something of a foundation to build on. But is also I mean, you’re creating amazing work ethic and values in your family that that is invaluable in itself.

Leilani Orr: Yes.

Julie Blissett: Yeah. Including them in the day to day. And when they get home, we make a very conscious effort to make sure that we’re connecting with them and engaging with how their day really was and what they learned the most or what made them the most happy for that day or the most sad and and really engaging with them individually because they know that moments after dinner, we usually return to that hustle and grind for the day. And that’s that’s now. And Leilani, you’re talking about in in the beginning and Trisha said on his podcast, I worked 60, 72 hours a week as a nurse at the same time night shift while he was taking care [00:09:00] of all four children, balancing the business, trying to really get started with a podcast and be successful there. So it depends on what your life looks like. I didn’t have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom at that time, but now moving forward after those stressors and we jumped into some light life coaching and honestly it turned everything complete opposite, we figured out how to mesh differently in the day to day and our like church small group where we’re building up as a married couple, married couple and learning those balancing things at the same time of now being able to be at home with him, working in the business, on the business and and just running full throttle beside each other instead of going to other and have just grown beyond belief since then for sure.

Kathleen Ridley: Well, and I think in those early days, too, you can gain such an appreciation when you do get [00:10:00] involved in what they do, you know. Brett and I had been together maybe a year at this point, and this is a funny little story, and I didn’t really know what HVAC was like. I knew what it was, but I didn’t know what it was, what it really entailed. And it was my birthday and I was so upset with him because he had to go run a survey. What? What’s going on here, dude? And he was like, I got to go make this money, because if you want to go out to dinner tonight, I got to go make it first. And so I was I was furious with him. And, you know, this is I’m in my early twenties, like we’re still kids. And he was like, all right, you know what? I’m going to get in the truck. You’re going to run this service. Call with me. It’s it’s Savannah, Georgia, the end of May, almost. You you know what that weather’s like. And I was like, Oh, holy hell. Okay, maybe I need to just calm it down a bit. And from that point, moving forward, it was like, wow, he does this seven days a week.

Kathleen Ridley: Sometimes you’re in these hot attics, you come home and then, you know, like I’m sure it’s unanimous [00:11:00] across our husbands where it’s not something that they just leave when they get off the clock. This is a full time thing. This is a lifestyle, especially with these brands that has been they’ve been built on top of the HVAC companies. It’s you come home, you do that, and it’s that kind of business, but then you switch hats. And I even used to get really frustrated with Brant about all the Instagramming and podcasts because it’s like, I’m here Bathing Kids and you’re scrolling Instagram. I didn’t understand, but once I really understood what it was, it’s amazing to see what has been built. Like yesterday we did a meet up at the Earls Booth and we had our community come over and the energy was just infectious and it’s like the tool pro’s brand brought that. That’s what we’ve been building for the last four years and that’s something really special and you can’t help but respect it. And it also grows, makes your marriage stronger because you go, Wow, okay, this is something that we’ve built together and that’s really, really cool. I love.

Julie Blissett: That.

Leilani Orr: Yeah. Yeah.

Kathleen Ridley: So anything [00:12:00] else? I really I like to do this. Oh, yeah. We have a question for. So what was life like before working with. Hold on. Repeat that one more time for me to work in the business or outside the business. What was life like before working in the business versus now working in the business with your spouse? So working with your spouse is a whole nother animal. It is it is something that is a daily learning experience. I will say that now. I was a stay at home mom prior to getting involved with the tool pro’s brand business side of things. And you know, you just have to be the supportive wife and you take on a lot of responsibilities because he also had an HVAC and plumbing company that I was not I was involved [00:13:00] in, but not in a business capacity now working together as business partners. Like I said, whole nother breed. It is a it’s what is the word I’m looking for. Brant and I are very different in our business styles. He is less organized than I am. So it’s that finding that happy medium where it’s okay, this is business and we respect each other and it’s it’s business. But also when it’s time to just be husband and wife, it’s hard to turn that off, but also respect each other and say, okay, you have business time now. It’s now it’s husband and wife time. What about y’all?

Julie Blissett: Leilani I have two here, yours with ten kids and all of what you’ve done from the beginning to where you are now, especially like with your home life and your incredible barn garage and all of that stuff you guys have got going on.

Leilani Orr: Yeah. Probably the greatest challenge when we worked, like when Brian worked for another business and then brought it home to be his started his own business while he worked [00:14:00] 60, 70 hours at this large company. When he came home, work was done. So the challenge that I had that the transition from going to working for someone else and then starting your own business together is that you have two responsibilities on you, not only 70 hours a week, but all those, those other hours as well. And and that was, was tough because it’s like the clarity of when work starts and finishes isn’t really there anymore.

Kathleen Ridley: There are no.

Leilani Orr: Guidelines. And I think that’s probably his greatest stressor, that change to I think he would say like I miss the days in some ways that that clarity of like, all right go home you’re cleared.

Kathleen Ridley: Well because once you are business owners, you, like you said, step away. Now, our conversations consist of constant business. Yes, there is no just. Oh, date night conversations. It’s okay. Well, what are we hitting next? What is the next plan? What is [00:15:00] the next goal? But it’s fun because when you create that teamwork and you really get into that rhythm, I think it strengthens a marriage.

Leilani Orr: Yeah, I think I think what’s been nice to now working together is the ability to speak into the goals, what’s next and actually understand what’s going on. Because now I can appreciate the trades for what it is and realize how many levels of awesome nerdiness these guys and ladies out there are getting into. I’m like, This is such an underrated occupation, you know? And so I get really excited about it now, just being able to see all that is out there that the the masses and the consumer, like you even said before, you didn’t know what HVAC was. You know, most people don’t. And so now being able to speak a little bit into some of the decisions of, you know, you feel kind of like you’re giving advice sometimes and [00:16:00] then you realize, wow, I’m a little bit I think I’m a little you have to work on not always putting in your opinion, right? When you’re thinking it, you know, sometimes like realizing, okay, that’s maybe I would have thought something different about that, but when when should I bring that up? You know, absolutely. Some of that like there’s some triggers there and some challenges. But we work through it. And like you said, you grow stronger and you learn to appreciate each other. And especially when respect is going both ways and seeing the value both of both of you bring to the table is huge and actually moving forward with success.

Kathleen Ridley: Yes. I mean, and like you said about gaining a respect and, you know, with the trade, it’s like you get involved in it and then you get passionate about it and excited about it. I could sit here and talk about our projects all day long because they’re not only his love, now they’re mine too. And then Brant sees what I’m putting in on the business side, and you have this, like you said, mutual respect. [00:17:00] And it really does. It truly strengthens the relationship. So what about you and Tersh?

Julie Blissett: Julie Yes, so I’m a little bit different, I guess in the sense of I wasn’t at home only like watching. Him do his grind. I was also going to work. I would leave the house at 4:30 p.m. and not get home until 830 in the morning. And so I never I didn’t get to sleep in bed with my husband unless he decided to crawl in bed in the middle of the day for a nap if he could get it in. But all week long, grinding like that, getting off of work on a Saturday morning and trying to get to that travel soccer game because he has all four children and there’s like a level of mom guilt, right? Because I can’t go home, like, how dare I go home and actually sleep after working that long? And so I would force myself to stay awake and be very much like a zombie, if you will. I didn’t always work five or six, 12 hour shifts a week. I [00:18:00] would sometimes still do the normal three and call it a week. But I’d say that letting him care for the children so much and him just being so all in for that to be the option. So that way his business could grow and then myself financially supporting our home while he put everything into the company itself, it allowed the company to grow exponentially different because there was no worry for him to be able to pay the bills, if you will.

Julie Blissett: So I think that that’s been, you know, a blessing and a curse, I guess. And like I mentioned, we did some life coaching. And one of the best analogies that I think I took away from that those visits was we were part of all these networking groups were stretching ourselves like a rubber band, and then we can go this far and then, you know, dial it in a little bit, maybe grow a little closer in our marriage and and focus [00:19:00] more on each other and our family. But then we’d stretch it a little bit further and eventually it became brittle, right? So you stretch over a brittle rubber band and it will eventually snap. And I and I think that before working with him, I wanted to know more about what he did. And I was very curious, seek the knowledge to understand. But again, I definitely would ride around on service calls and I have lots of videos being the fun helper on the roof of a Chick fil A, cleaning a coil or something like that. So it’s been it’s been good to be involved in the beginning.

Julie Blissett: But then that transition where some uncertain times hit our world and I, being a cardiac ICU nurse, worked in that situation where it was a different type of zombie that he was seeing. It was a very broken, mentally broken, heart broken person to just watch some of what our world was doing and changing. He offered me [00:20:00] to come be part of his company in a different facet. So I wasn’t just the networking wife or the, I guess the person that would go help. Every now and then I became like a leadership with inside of the business people look at me as, yes, I’m the owner’s wife, but I help run the thing. Yeah. And so it’s it’s been kind of an incredible adjustment. I would say. Like you said, it’s a whole different animal. You definitely have to learn how to stay in your lane and find what that lane looks like. Leilani, you mentioned knowing when to give the advice or what you would do differently. Women and men do see things differently, and it’s beneficial to give some feedback because sometimes their brains like that filing cabinet and they’re on the one file, folks super focused and we’re this ball of wire thinking all over the place and we’re.

Kathleen Ridley: 20 steps ahead and they’re back there.

Julie Blissett: And so just sometimes, you know, Tersh might not be as receptive in [00:21:00] the moment, but then he can turn it and be like, totally get what I was giving him as feedback. And it helps just it makes it so much more dynamic in the business. And now that I feel like we’re pretty aligned, I can communicate with him different. We definitely have rules for the bedroom there. Can we don’t take the tablets and the laptops to the bedroom. No, just we try to keep work conversation out of our married life in that sense of like at least there’s that one safe space where.

Leilani Orr: So you don’t pretend like you’re an AC unit and he’s the tradesman.

Julie Blissett: Is that what’s going on? Well, he little role playing there. He’s like, oh that that allowed. Yeah he has the oh man really bad to say that being in the military and got that really dirty to mine I guess. But anyway, [00:22:00] moving on. Yeah. So just finding some boundaries I guess for what it looks like. And in addition to business life though like so you have all those targets and focus as in the business, it’s really cool to think about what. Your hopes, dreams and targets are as a family. Like you have this business. But what does it mean for where we go as a family? What are your targets as a family and what it means in the big picture of life? Because we can have 30, $40 million company. But what does that mean and why did we do that anyway?

Leilani Orr: Yeah, and just reminding each other of that when things are kind of crazy and chaotic, it’s like bringing it back to like what matters the most. Yeah. Where are we headed? We have to deal with some pain and tumult and this craziness for a while. But we are going in the same direction, right or not. And then figure out like, how do we get on the same? Like at least headed in the same direction, doing our own things, staying in our own lane sometimes, but headed the same place.

Kathleen Ridley: Well, and I think that’s a great thing that we bring to the table as wives. We are their business partners is we [00:23:00] know how to we know our husbands better than anybody else. And so it’s easy to figure out how to communicate our ideas best to them, because, like you said, you might suggest something and he may not be receptive at first, but then he thinks on it. It’s the same thing with Brant and I where he’s like, I don’t know. But then a day later he’s like, Yeah, a unique relationship with them that a normal business partner would not have. And I think that also makes things interesting, but it also is a team player. It puts you in a better position than just the average business partner.

Julie Blissett: Well, you’re going to hustle a lot different than any other business partner, and yet it affects their life. And, you know, that would be their maybe livelihood that you and your husband at the same time grinding after the similar goals and targets. It just makes it on a whole nother level because.

Kathleen Ridley: You know, maybe that you’re protecting, you’re growing, so you’re going to no one’s going to work harder than you do. Yeah. No, absolutely. So before we wrap this up, I really love to give wives [00:24:00] that are new to the trade because I feel like this industry is really it’s something different. It’s a different market. And unless you’re familiar with it or you were raised in that environment, it can be kind of a shock to the system and it can be hard for young couples. So I’d like you each to give one piece of advice to to a couple starting out where, like you said, their husbands are doing a lot of overtime or, you know, maybe they’re they’re doing their own hustle and he’s trying to grow their business. So what would you say to them?

Julie Blissett: So in regard actually, Elena, you go first. So starting out, what would you say to them?

Leilani Orr: I would say, I guess value the work, value their work. And in that, I think you’re going to find ways to understand both the the craziness [00:25:00] that follows at times, but also, like just learn to understand. And in that, I think you can just partner together with the the investment of learning and growing and and that takes sacrifice and it will take sacrifice. It’s just not going to always be easy. It is going to be painful. But most things that are worth anything have some pain and sacrifice involved in it and it’s worth it. So just try not to get disappointed, you know, don’t go into it having some expectation of like, oh my goodness, there’s like, I can make this. We’re going to make this much money and it’s going to go like this, like you might, but it’s also going to be really hard and painful, but in that you’re going to grow and I think we all like there’s going to be purpose in that. And so there’s there’s a depth to this industry that is worth getting involved in.

Kathleen Ridley: Absolutely.

Julie Blissett: Yeah. I’d say that [00:26:00] the best advice that I could give is to take just a moment to reflect on the situation and realize that it’s probably not as big of a deal and the grand scheme of life. And like the big picture, I’m really big on not being that wife that nags about the dishes being way too crammed into the dishwasher because half the things will have to be rewatched anyway. I’m instantly take a note, but I definitely don’t speak it until now. So Tersh. Sorry, but no. There’s things that just really aren’t that big of a deal and then being homed and they may not be who takes out the trash? Train your children to do responsible things and make sure that you’re helping guide them to be great young adults and the husband being part of a trades, the trades or wanting to be an entrepreneur and just the uncertainty and being okay with that. And I mean, that takes a lot on on the woman, right? Or on the person on the other [00:27:00] end. And I guess if you just can find peace with that and just be okay with the the differences and your life not necessarily being a clear cut cookie cutter American dream. Yeah, it can be if that’s the way that you perceive it.

Kathleen Ridley: Yeah, absolutely. I think your your perception of how you want your life to be, that’s all that matters. And like you said in the beginning, the comparison it’ll get you every time if you just you see your life and you’re happy with it doesn’t matter what’s going on around you. Yeah. So in closing, we had one question for those of you who are listening, who do you reach out to for help and support?

Leilani Orr: Oh, yeah.

Julie Blissett: So I kind of mentioned we had some life coaches. They had a multifaceted background. So the husband side of it was a business. He had a business degree and he had [00:28:00] a pastoral degree. And so, like very specific, he had what we needed on the faith side. But because he was an entrepreneur, he totally got the husband side of our life of that business owner stress and the business stress. And then the wife’s side, they had children, I guess a support system that’s relatively similar to what you’re going through because otherwise you’ll be like, but you just don’t get it. But if they kind of do get it, then it makes it easier and you’re a little more receptive to the advice that you’re given. We also we are faithful in our home and not to bring religion, politics and all of that into the show. But I think that that’s huge. If you have something, whatever your faith may be, that you can lean on together, you know, I think it just makes it nice to come together. I would reach out for help there. You don’t want to compare, though. Like so I was immediately was thinking other business owner friends. Maybe you would know [00:29:00] what they did. You might get some good advice, but you want to be real careful that their life still doesn’t look like yours and their level of business may be here and yours may be there. You may have different targets and different avenues you’re going down, so you don’t necessarily want to reach out to the people walking down the exact same kind of pipeline as you. Yeah. You may really want to just figure out what what’s going to work well for you and your spouse. Yeah. And, and figure, you know, just keep trying things until you figure out what’s really supporting your marriage, what works for you. Yeah. Making a stronger marriage.

Leilani Orr: Yeah. I would say that the areas that the the sources that have ended up being the most helpful are often ones that aren’t super close actually in relationship to either my husband or to my husband especially, or like or myself. Like not necessarily a family member. Not they’re so supportive all the time. But when it’s like more of a specific [00:30:00] thing that you don’t want their to become like a the advice coming in begins to sort of like turn relational. And I think sometimes like the closer the family member it actually does kind of happen which.

Julie Blissett: I’m taking sides and stuff. Yeah.

Leilani Orr: Like you don’t want to involve like they don’t need to always like involve that kind of what you said to what you had just mentioned is that you just don’t you want a trusted source that isn’t going to either feel weighted like they have to take sides. So almost somebody that can look on the outside, look from the outside and has wisdom in their life experience. And it might be completely separate from what, you know, their actual experience is. And also like, yeah, books, I feel like good writing, just encouragement and just finding independence in in like you’re not expecting life to always go this certain way and get all [00:31:00] of that from your spouse or your children. You know, finding that like finding your path and being excited about what you do and being excited for others. And and I mean, we’re going to have hard seasons. You know, you’re going to have hard times. But I will be really honest here. I’m not really, really good about calling someone. I don’t or it’s just not my nature. So when you ask that, I’m like, Let me think for a minute. Who do I call on? You know? And so I’m not naturally like a person that just like, you know, help. I’m struggling. But it’s good to have a place and some encouragement. And I think it’s going to be different for anybody where they’ll find that.

Kathleen Ridley: And I’m a lot like you. I am not one to ever reach out for help or you know, I’m very my circle is very, very small. And for, you know, my mom and I are very close. So she’s kind of my sounding board. But it’s sometimes you do like you said, you have to be careful because sometimes you just want to vent. But then at the end of the day, when you talk to family [00:32:00] members about your spouse, you know, they’re still your family. And you don’t want them to hold that grudge because you get over it in a couple of hours and they’re still mad about it. So, you know, for me personally, that was one of the reasons why I started the Tool Life brand, because I felt like there wasn’t a lot of support out there for trade spouses. It was a niche that was not being talked about. And I was like, We need to get a group, we need to get a community. And honestly, for me personally, I have created some really amazing relationships just through social media, like, you know, YouTube lady, good outlet because, you know, sometimes it’s not somebody that’s close to you and your community or like you said, it’s not a super close relationship. And sometimes that’s a really good thing. Yes. Because you find people that can relate. But they’re not so close to you that they have heavy opinions.

Leilani Orr: Yes, right. Yes.

Kathleen Ridley: So, yeah, I think I enjoyed this episode. So thank you, everybody.

Leilani Orr: Thank you, Kathleen. Yes, it’s great to see you both again. Julie, thanks.

Julie Blissett: For having.

Kathleen Ridley: Us. Thank y’all.

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